Christian views of marriage

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Christians typically regard marriage as instituted and ordained by God^[1] for the lifelong relationship between one man as husband and one woman as wife.^[2] In the New Testament marriage is thought of as normal and proper.^[3] It is to be "held in honor among all."^[4]

Civil laws recognize marriage as having social and political status. Christian theology affirms the secular status of marriage, but additionally views it from a moral and religious perspective that transcends all social interests.^[5] A few denominations recently have extended the definition to include two persons of the same sex.

While marriage is honored among Christians and throughout the Bible, it is not seen as necessary for everyone. Unmarrieds who either have chosen to remain single or who have lost their spouse for some reason are neither incomplete in Christ nor personal failures. There is no suggestion that Jesus was ever married.

Divorce—dissolution of marriage ("putting asunder what God has joined together")—is generally seen from a Christian perspective as less than the ideal, with specific opinions ranging from it being universally wrong to the notion that it sometimes is inevitable.^[6]

Except for a brief time during the Middle Ages, the traditional Christian view has held that sex is reserved for marriage and that sex outside of marriage is a sin.^[5] More liberal or progressive societal trends have moved some Christian denominations to reaffirm historical conservative views and others to reconsider traditional practice in this area.

Roles and responsibilities of husband and wives now vary considerably on a continuum between the long-held male-dominant/female-submission view^[7] and a growing shift toward equality (without sameness) of the woman and the man.^[8]

[edit] Biblical foundations

Marriage is considered in its ideal according to the purpose of God. It is also considered in its actual occurrence, sometimes involving failure. Therefore, the Bible speaks also on the subject of divorce.^[3]

[edit] Old Testament

Christians regard the foundational principle of the lifelong union of a man and a woman to have been first articulated biblically in the Book of Genesis.^[9]

[edit] Jesus

Sometimes used as a symbol for Christian marriage: Two gold wedding rings interlinked with the Greek letters chi (X) and rho (P)—the first two letters in the Greek word for "Christ" (see Labarum)

To Jesus, marriage allows a woman and a man to complement each other as two halves of a whole. The two are joined together by God so that "they are no longer two, but one." He set forth his basic position on marriage by bringing together two important passages from Genesis,^[10] reinforcing the basic position on marriage found in Jewish scripture. He also emphasized that it is God-made and lifelong. Jesus regarded marriage as monogamous, with monogamy as the only normal, the only divine basis of family relationships.^[11]

Have you not read, he replied, that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female," and said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate (Matthew 19:4–6, Mark 10:6–9).

Jesus used the image of marriage and the family to teach the basics about the kingdom of God.^[12] He inaugurated his ministry by blessing the wedding feast at Cana, albeit reluctantly. In the Beatitudes he set forth a new commandment concerning marriage, teaching that lustful looking constitutes adultery.^[13] He also superseded a Mosaic Law allowing divorce with his teaching that "…anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."^[14] To the Pharisees he affirmed the dignity and permanence of marriage by proclaiming, "So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."^[15]

Despite this, Jesus himself never married, and he confirmed voluntary singleness in Christian service.^[16] He believed marriage could be a distraction from an urgent mission.^[17] He believed he was living in a time of crisis and urgency where the Kingdom of God would be established where there would be no marriage nor giving in marriage.^[18]

And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake, who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting.

[edit] New Testament beyond the Gospels

The Apostle Paul quoted passages from Genesis almost verbatim in two of his New Testament books^[19] He used marriage not only to describe the kingdom of God, as Jesus had done, but to define also the nature of the first century Christian church. Paul analogized the church as the bride and Christ is the bridegroom. He said that Christian marriage parallels the relationship between Christ and the Church. His theological view was a Christian development of the Old Testament parallel between marriage and the relationship between God and Israel.^[20]

Both Jesus and Paul seem to provide "exceptions" to marriage as being its ideal according to the purpose of God because of extraordinary circumstances ("Because of the impending crisis"). Their concerns were that marriage might be a distraction from the work of discipleship.^[21]

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. —Paul (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).

The Apostle Paul clearly declares the mutuality of marital relations.^[22]

It remains unclear if the Apostle Paul was once married. Some scholars believe he may have been a widower since he was a Pharisee and member of the Sanhedrin, positions in which the social norm of the day required the men to be married.^[2]

[edit] Early church fathers

First-century Christians did not value the family and saw celibacy and freedom from family ties as a preferable state.

Augustine believed that marriage was a sacrament because it was a symbol used by Paul to express Christ's love of the Church. Despite this for the Fathers of the Church with their hatred of sex, marriage could not be a true and valuable Christian vocation. Jerome wrote: "It is not disparaging wedlock to prefer virginity. No one can make a comparison between two things if one is good and the other evil."^[23] Tertullian argued that marriage "consists essentially in fornication" (An Exhortation to Chastity") Cyprian, Bishop of Carthage said that the first commandment given to men was to increase and multiply, but now that the earth was full there was no need to continue this process of multiplication. Augustine was clear that if everybody stopped marrying and having children that would be an admirable thing; it would mean that the Kingdom of God would return all the sooner and the world would come to an end.

This negative view of marriage was reflected in the lack of interest shown by the Church authorities. No special ceremonial was devised to celebrate Christian marriage—despite the fact that the Church quickly produced liturgies to celebrate the Eucharist, Baptism and Confirmation. It was not important for a couple to have their nuptials blessed by a priest. People could marry by mutual agreement in the presence of witnesses. This system, known as Spousals, persisted after the Reformation. At first, the old Roman pagan rite was used by Christians, although modified superficially. The first detailed account of a Christian wedding in the West dates from the 9th century and was identical to the old nuptial service of Ancient Rome.

[edit] Views of Protestant Christians

The Wedding of Stephen Beckingham and Mary Cox by William Hogarth, c. 1729 (Metropolitan Museum of Art, N.Y.).

[edit] Purposes

Essentially all Protestant denominations hold marriage to be ordained by God for the union between a man and a woman. They see the primary purpose of this union to be to glorify^[24] God by demonstrating his love to the world. Other purposes of marriage include intimate companionship, rearing children and mutual support for both husband and wife to fulfill their life callings. Protestants generally approve of birth control and consider marital sexual pleasure to be a gift of God. While condoning divorce only under limited circumstances, most Protestant churches allow for divorce and remarriage.^[25]

Conservative Protestants take a stricter view of the nature of marriage. They consider marriage a solemn covenant between wife, husband and God. Most view sexual relations as appropriate only within a marriage. Divorce is permissible, if at all, only in very specific circumstances (for example, sexual immorality or abandonment by the non-believer).^[26][27]

[edit] Roles and responsibilities in marriage

Roles and responsibilities of husband and wives now vary considerably on a continuum between the long-held male dominant/female submission view and a growing shift toward equality (without sameness)^[28] of the woman and the man.^[29] There is considerable debate among many Christians today—not just Protestants—whether equality of husband and wife or male headship is the biblically-ordained view, and even if it is biblically-permissible. The divergent opinions fall into two main groups: Complementarians (who call for husband-headship and wife-submission) and Christian Egalitarians (who believe in full partnership equality in which couples can discover and negotiate roles and responsibilities in marriage).^[30]

[edit] The Complementarian view

The Complementarian (also known as Traditionalist or Hierarchical) view of marriage maintains that male leadership is biblically required in marriage. Complementarians generally believe that the husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image, but that husbands and wives have different functions and responsibilities in marriage.^[31] According to this view, the husband has the God-given responsibility to provide for, protect, and lead his family. Wives are expected to respect their husbands' authority and submit to it.^[32] However, some Complementarian authors caution that a wife's submission should never cause her to "follow her husband into sin."^[33]

The Complementarian view of Christian marriage has been articulated and defended by several evangelical leaders in what is called the Danvers Statement.^[34] Their understanding of the necessity for gender-based roles and authority structure in marriage is based on their interpretation of various scriptures.^[35][34]

A more detailed statement of the Complementarian view of marriage appears in Southern Baptist Convention's Baptist Faith and Message (2000):

The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to his people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.

– Article XVIII. The Family. Baptist Faith and Message 2000

Many complementarians also interpret Scripture as forbidding women from holding positions of authority in the religious and/or political worlds.^[32]

[edit] The Egalitarian View

Christian Egalitarians believe that full partnership in an equal marriage is the most biblical view. In a most important sense, there is no priority of one over the other. As persons husband and wife are of equal value. In truth, they are one.^[3] Their position is that equality between a wife and husband produces the most intimate, wholesome and mutually fulfilling marriages. Their belief is that the Apostle Paul's statement recorded in Galatians 3:28 applies to all Christian relationships, including Christian marriage: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus."^[36]

Christian egalitarian theologians also find it significant that the "two becoming one" concept, first cited in Genesis 2:24,^[37] , was quoted by Jesus in his teachings on marriage.^[38] In those passages he reemphasized the concept by adding to the Genesis passage these words: "So, they are no longer two, but one" (NIV). The Apostle Paul cited the Genesis 2:24 passage.^[39][3]

A New Testament passage that has long been interpreted to require a male priority in marriage are these verses: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord," and "the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…."^[40] Both Christian Egalitarians and Complementarians agree that the Apostle Paul wrote that the "husband is head…" and "wives, submit…," and that he was divinely inspired to write what he wrote, but the two groups diverge in their interpretation of this passage.

• Complementarians understand "head" to mean "leader" and "authority figure" like the head of an organization being its president or chief executive officer.^[41]
• Christian Egalitarians consider this understanding to be contrary to the teachings and example of Jesus Christ. Therefore, they believe more attention needs to be given to discerning (1) what Paul actually meant when he penned those instructions, (2) to what extent his gender-based guidance was intended for an abusive first century culture in which women were considered disposable entities, chattel (property of husband) and permanently minors legally and to what extent he was prescribing a hierarchical relationship in which wives must be under husband authority for all people in all times.^[3]

Much has been written concerning the meaning of "head" in the New Testament. The word used for "head," transliterated from Greek, is kephalē—which means the anatomical head of a body. Today's English word "cephalic" (sə-făl'ĭk) means "Of or relating to the head; or located on, in, or near the head." In the New Testament, a thorough concordance search shows that the second most frequent use of "head" (kephalē), after "the structure that connects to our neck and sits atop our bodies," is the metaphorical sense of "source."^{[42] [43]}

In Hebrew thought throughout the Old Testament, primarily because of the law of primogeniture—the right of the firstborn to preside over the affairs of the family^[44] it was very important to determine who came first in birth order. Therefore, Paul and other rabbis pointed to the Genesis record,^[45] "the LORD God made a woman from the rib^[46] he had taken out of the man," making it clear that the male was the first-created (first "born") and therefore perpetually entitled to special rights and privileges under the primogeniture doctrine. The wife's submission is seen in the context of Paul's injunction^[47] for all Christians to submit to one another.^[3]

A straightforward reading of Matthew 20:25–26a, Mark 10:42, and Luke 22:25 possibly suggests that Jesus even forbids any hierarchy of relationships in Christian relationships: "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you!" While "lord it over" implies abusive leadership, his words "exercise authority" have no connotation of abuse of authority.^[48]

[edit] View of Roman Catholic Church

This article will list several Catholic distinctives on marriage. The main article includes more detail.

Roman Catholic couple at their holy Matrimony or marriage. In the Latin rite of the Catholic Church, during the celebration the priest imposes his liturgical stole upon the couple's hands, as a sign to confirm the marriage bond.

"God himself is the author of marriage" which is his way of showing love for those he created. Marriage is a divine institution that can never be broken, even if the partners are legally divorced: as long as they are both alive, the Church considers them bound together by God.^[49]

Marriage is intended to be a faithful, exclusive, lifelong union of a man and a woman. They commit themselves completely to each other and to bringing children into the world and caring for them. Man and woman are equal and made for each other. They are created different from, but made for, each other. This complementarity, including sexual difference, draws them together in a mutually loving union.^[50]

The valid marriage of baptized Christians is one of the seven Roman Catholic sacraments—a saving reality.

In opposing making same-sex unions equal to marriage, the Catholic Church views marriage as originating from God, though it is regulated by civil laws and church laws. Therefore, the Church's stance is that neither church nor state can alter the basic meaning and structure of marriage. Husband and wife give themselves totally to each other in their masculinity and femininity.^[51][52]

Arbëreshë Albanian couple during marriage in an Italo-Greek Catholic Church rite.

During the Warsaw Uprising (1944), a Polish couple, members of an Armia Krajowa resistance group, are married in a secret Catholic chapel in a street in Warsaw.

Catholics are encouraged to marry other Catholics. Priests are to remember that marriage is part of God's natural law and to support the couple if they do choose to marry. Today it is common for Catholics to enter into a mixed marriage (between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic). Couples entering into a mixed marriage are usually allowed to marry in a Catholic church provided their decision is of their own accord, and they intend to remain together for life, to be faithful to each other, and to have children if the bride is of childbearing age.

Engaged couples are expected to refrain from sexual activity. The Church teaches that sex is part of the procreation process and should only happen within marriage.^[49]

In Catholicism, a principal objective of marriage is procreation. "Entering marriage with the intention of never having children is a grave wrong and more than likely grounds for an annulment."^[53] It is normal procedure for a priest to ask the prospective bride and groom about their plans to have children before officiating at their wedding. The Catholic Church may refuse to marry anyone unwilling - or unable - to have children (such as older persons beyond the age of having children) since procreation by "the marriage act" is a fundamental part of marriage.^[54]

[edit] View of the Eastern Orthodox Church

Byzantine wedding ring, depicting Christ uniting the bride and groom, 7th century, nielloed gold (Musée du Louvre).

Orthodox betrothal depicted by Vasily Vladimirovich Pukirev, 1832.

The Wedding of Nicholas II and Grand Duchess Alexandra Feodorovna, by Ilya Yefimovich Repin, 1894 (Russian State Museum, St. Petersburg).

In Eastern Orthodoxy, marriage is treated as a Sacred Mystery (sacrament), and as an ordination. Therefore, it is considered a martyrdom as each spouse learns to die to self for the sake of the other. Like all Mysteries, Orthodox marriage is more than just a celebration of something which already exists: it is the creation of something new, the imparting to the couple of the grace which transforms them from a 'couple' into husband and wife within the Body of Christ.^[55]

Marriage is an icon (image) of the relationship between Jesus and the Church. This is somewhat akin to the Old Testament prophets' use of marriage as an analogy to describe the relationship between God and Israel. Marriage is the simplest, most basic unity of the church: a congregation where "two or three are gathered together in [Jesus'] name."^[56][55] The home is considered a consecrated space (the ritual for the Blessing of a House is based upon that of the Consecration of a Church), and the husband and wife are considered the ministers of that congregation. However, they do not "perform" the Sacraments in the house church; they "live" the Sacrament of Marriage. Because marriage is considered to be a pilgrimage wherein the couple walk side by side toward the Kingdom of Heaven, marriage to a non-Orthodox partner is discouraged, though it may be permitted.

Unlike Western Christianity, Eastern Orthodox Churches do not consider the sacramental aspect of the marriage to be conferred by the couple themselves. Rather, the marriage is conferred by the action of the Holy Spirit acting through the priest. Furthermore, no one besides a bishop or priest—not even a deacon—may perform the Sacred Mystery.

The external sign of the marriage is the placing of wedding crowns upon the heads of the couple, and their sharing in a "Common Cup" of wine. Once crowned, the couple walk a circle three times in a ceremonial "dance" in the middle of the church, while the choir intones a joyous three-part antiphonal hymn, "Dance, Isaiah"

The sharing of the Common Cup symbolizes the transformation of their union from a common marriage into a sacred union. The wedding is usually performed after the Divine Liturgy at which the couple receives Holy Communion. Traditionally, the wedding couple would wear their wedding crowns for eight days, and there is a special prayer said by the priest at the removal of the crowns.

Divorce is discouraged. Sometimes out of economia (mercy) a marriage may be dissolved if there is no hope whatever for a marriage to fulfill even a semblance of its intended sacramental character.^[55] The standard formula for remarriage is that the Orthodox Church joyfully blesses the first marriage, merely performs the second, barely tolerates the third, and invariably forbids the fourth.^[57]

Orthodox Church prepared for a wedding (Hagia Sophia, Thessaloniki.

Early church texts forbid marriage between an Orthodox Christian and a heretic or schismatic (which would include all non-Orthodox Christians). Traditional Orthodox Christians forbid mixed marriages with other denominations. More liberal ones perform them, provided that the couple formally commit themselves to rearing their children in the Orthodox faith.

All people are called to celibacy—human beings are all born into virginity, and Orthodox Christians are expected by Sacred Tradition to remain in that state unless they are called into marriage and that call is sanctified.^[55] The church blesses two paths on the journey to salvation: monasticism and marriage. Mere celibacy, without the sanctification of monasticism, can fall into selfishness and tends to be regarded with disfavour by the Church.^[55]

Orthodox priests who serve in parishes are usually married. They must marry prior to their ordination. If their wife dies, they are forbidden to remarry; if they do, they may no longer serve as a priest. A married man may be ordained as a priest or deacon. However, a priest or deacon is not permitted to enter into matrimony after ordination. Bishops must always be monks and are thus celibate. However, if a married priest is widowed, he may receive monastic tonsure and thus become eligible for the episcopate.

[edit] Views of Non-Trinitarian denominations

A Celestial Marriage must be performed in an LDS temple.

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ("LDS Church"; see also Mormon), "Celestial Marriage" is a sacred covenant between a man, a woman and God performed by a priesthood authority in the temples of the Church. Eternal Marriage is legally recognized, but unlike other civil marriages, Eternal Marriage is intended to continue into the afterlife after the resurrection if the man and woman do not break their covenants. Eternally married couples are often referred to as being "sealed" to each other. Sealed couples who keep their covenants are also promised to have their posterity sealed to them in the after life. Thus, the slogan of the LDS Church: "families are forever." The LDS Church encourages its members to be in good standing with it so that they may marry in the temple. "Cancellation of a sealing," sometimes incorrectly called a "temple divorce," is uncommon and is granted only by the highest authority in the Church. Civil divorce and marriage outside the temple is somewhat of a stigma in the Latter-day Saint culture although currently the Church itself directs its local leaders not to advise members about divorce one way or another.^[58]

In the New Church (or Swedenborgianism), marriage is considered a sacred covenant between one man, one woman and the Lord. The doctrine of the New Church teaches that married love (sometime translated conjugal love) is "the precious jewel of human life and the repository of the Christian religion" because the love shared between a husband and a wife is the source of all peace and joy.^[59] Marriage is also meant to be eternal and divorce is only allowable when the spiritual union is broken by adultery. When a husband and wife work together to become angels in heaven, their marriage continues uninterrupted even after the death of their bodies, living together in heaven to eternity. Emanuel Swedenborg claimed to have spoken to angels who had been married for thousands of years. Those who are never married on earth will find a spouse in heaven.

Jehovah's Witnesses view marriage to be a permanent arrangement with the only exception being adultery. This is directly taken from Jesus' words at Matthew 19:9. Marriage is strictly between a man and woman, and must comply with local laws. Marriage must be heterosexual. The Witnesses hold fast to the belief that one must follow "Caesar's Laws" provided they do not conflict with god's commands. Therefore local law determines marital age. Divorce is strongly discouraged even when adultery is committed. There are provisions for a domestic separation in the event of "failure to provide for one's household" and domestic violence, or spiritual resistance on the part of a partner. Even in such situations though divorce would be considered grounds for loss of privileges in the congregation. Re-marrying after death or a proper divorce is permitted. Marriage is the only situation where any type of sexual interaction is acceptable, and even then certain restrictions apply to acts such as oral and anal sex. Married persons who are known to commit such acts may in fact lose privileges in the congregation as they are supposed to be setting a good example to the congregation. ^[60]

[edit] Same sex marriage

A small number of Protestant denominations, such as the United Church of Canada, perform weddings between same sex couples. Other churches perform ceremonies blessing same sex unions, but do not refer to them as marriages. Whether to bless same-sex marriages and unions is a matter of debate within some denominations.

[edit] See also

• Christian Egalitarianism
• Complementarianism
• Religious aspects of marriage (for all religions).

[edit] Footnotes

[edit] External links

• Analysis of historic, current and Biblical Christian views on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage
• Annulment Tribunal, Diocese of San Jose
• Annulments, Information on Roman Catholic
• Bernard Orchard, Summary of The Betrothal and Marriage of Mary to Joseph and chronological chart
• Bernard Orchard, The Betrothal and Marriage of Mary to Joseph, Part 1
• Bernard Orchard, The Betrothal and Marriage of Mary to Joseph, Part 2
• Biblical view of marriage—The Blood Covenant of Marriage
• Catholic divorce
• Catholic Familyland
• Christian Marriage Resources
• Christian view of the meaning and permanence of marriage
• Christians for Biblical Equality
• Divorce; Canonical Impediments
• Divorce
• First Century Marriage Research by Dr. Intone Brewer, Tyndale Biblical Library
• For Your Marriage - "Resources for living happily ever after"
• Future of Marriage from a Christian Viewpoint
• Marriage Catechism
• Photo: Orthodox Crowning (Marriage) Russian Orthodox
• Saint Josemaría on marriage
• "The Kyrios Dialogue" - The Socratic Method used on conservative Christian men for the issue of a husband's authority.
• Wedding Crowns (Photo) Russian Orthodox